Tara and Jack exemplify the principle that histrionics and outbursts of anger are not the path to winning, let alone surviving a divorce. Let’s hear their story.
When Jack first met Tara, he was coming off the death of his first wife, and Tara was a “struggling artist” nearly fifteen years younger at the age of 30. Their romance took off in a flash and Jack was all over the country regaling her at the finest restaurants and resorts from Florida to California . Not even four months later, they were married in Vegas. Shortly thereafter, Jack got Tara pregnant. Big mistake on Jack’s part there!
He knew that Tara had a previous marriage and was involved in custody issues with her feuding Ex. She told Jack her Ex was abusive to her sexually and mentally though she never really went into details. She also said he was into drugs and even dealt drugs from his apartment in Miami. Jack believed her. He had no reason not to. In fact, wasn’t that part of her charm, that Jack was able to rescue this poor girl from the throes of such an evil Ex? However, at this point, Jack began to notice contradictions in some of her stories. Sometimes he was drug dealer and other times he never touched the stuff.
One day Jack began to question Tara about some of her contradictions and she flipped out on him. This was a side Jack had never seen before when they were in the throes of their romance.
Finally, they had a heated argument and she called the cops on him saying he had thrown her against a wall and slapped her in the face. Jack didn’t lay one finger on her. When the police showed up, Jack was, naturally, incensed. The police removed Jack from his home and Tara promptly filed a protection order against him. Immediately, Jack wanted to divorce the mental lady he should never have married, let alone impregnated.
From that point on, Jack was so irate that he seemed to scream and yell at everybody involved in his divorce. How could they not see it was all bull? How dare she do this to him and make up stuff about him. His reputation was suffering. Sadly, Jack’s real problem was that his actions were backing up her stories. Every time he showed up in court, the Judge would take her side as she sat there calmly and lied about how Jack beat her. In response, Jack would go off on the Judge and her. Things continued to get much worse and Jack felt powerless. Tara would now not allow Jack any access to their newborn son. She wouldn’t even allow Jack to attend the Baptism unless he got a court order.
Finally, Jack went to see a counselor to get his anger under control. This is when things began to change in his favor.
Calmly and methodically he went about his plan to become involved in his child’s life. Each and every inroad he attempted, Tara would then make up things about the baby being sick and unavailable or switching times on him at the last moment. She was bent on making his life hell. However, this time her antics did not illicit any ranting and raving from Jack.
He calmly responded to her that he would file a complaint against her in court. This time when she showed up, Jack was calm and collected. She accused him of drugs as well and Jack submitted to a drug test. Then, he submitted to a psychological evolution and finally the Judge required her to do the same. The results clearly showed that Jack was the more stable of the two and that Tara suffered from a severe personality disorder. She lost custody of the child completely.
Jack finally realized he was his own worst enemy. His taunts and anger were supporting his Ex’s false picture of him. Her portrayal of Jack was a house of cards ready to fall when Jack began to play the divorce game to win. He got control of his anger and let the facts speak for themselves. Jack learned that to win in divorce you must win over your emotions first.
